8:16 AM
Drive to work was smooth. The few other cars on the road were going the other way.

8:17 AM
The lights are on at the office but there’s no one here. Fine by me. I like it quiet.

9:03 AM
The water fountain by the bathroom smells like iron today. I’m not drinking out of that.

10:02 AM
Still haven’t seen anyone else at the office today. I’ll see if they’re at coffee now.

10:22 AM
No one in the breakroom either. Is there a holiday i don’t know about?

12:04 PM
Have you ever played the game where you see how long you can hold your poop in?

12:05 PM
Because I am about to lose that game hardcore.

12:12 PM
Hoooooooly crap.

12:14 PM
I think i just found a corpse… I think it’s somebody from the warehouse.

12:18 PM
There’s blood everywhere. The cops think there’s a cougar in my building. I gotta get out.

12:19 PM
There’s something freakin’ huge banging up against the door! That is NOT a cougar.

12:24 PM
The banging stopped but there is no way i’m leaving this bathroom.

12:31 PM
I called the cops again. They’re sending two guys with a dart gun.

12:31 PM
Apparently they sent one hours ago but haven’t heard from him.

12:35 PM
I think i hear voices. I’m saved!

12:37 PM
Oh man, i think it got them. Something loud just happened and now it’s really quiet.

12:39 PM
The bad news: that thing can’t be from earth. The good news: i have a dart gun now.

12:47 PM
I’m making a run for it. Wish me luck.

12:51 PM
I made it. Well, most of me did. It has teeth in its tentacles. I have eight fingers now.

12:57 PM
I guess it’s ironic that i’m hiding from a man-eater in the lunch room…

1:01 PM
It poked a feeler through the door and i pegged it. It hasn’t made any noise since, but i don’t trust it.

1:36 PM
I can’t wait any more. Either it’s tranquilized, or i’m going to die. I’m heading for my car and getting out of here.

2:04 PM
Made it to the car. No sign of the thing. It must’ve crawled off somewhere and passed out. Just have to start the car and drive away.

2:07 PM
My gate key. Is gone.

2:26 PM
My office is inside a barbed wire fence. I can’t climb it. I think i need to drive through it.

3:24 PM
It came back before i could ram the fence. It’s been chasing me around the building in my car for twenty minutes. I’m almost on empty!

3:33 PM
Screw this. I’m running this sucker over or dying in the attempt.

3:52 PM
And NOW the cavalry arrives.

3:59 PM
So apparently aliens CAN be harmed by small-arms fire. Who knew?

4:00 PM
THE END

Office hijinks at their donuttiest!

Everything I say in this video is 100% true. *Everything*.

Sharpies are vicious.

Strange things happen in my office.

I am not always responsible.